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An Alien Invaded the Circus

by April Fish

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1.
She misses the mark, sweetly, saying, "Silver or sulfur, it's the same thing. I know how to kill." She slips off her clothes and hands them to the nearest unsuspecting gentlemen. "With this, do what you will." "You shouldn't trust me, but I know you will. I'll show you my skin so you'll think it's real. I've got to keep secrets to keep us safe." She misses the mark, completely, saying, "Don't think I didn't strike out deliberately. I know very well how to kill." "I am fire. I am fire. I am the handle, I am the blade, I am not safe. I am the siren calling your name, better unclaimed." She buries the dark, so deeply. Smiling so you'd think it was easy. "Oh, but it is" She gathers her thoughts, and sells them to her nearest and dearest fellow countrymen. "Enjoy the thrill." You think it's a match? Well, you're not far wrong. She'd call it an act, but she's too far gone. She misses the mark, neatly, saying, "Silver or sulfur, it's the same to me, though I know how to tell." She cuts off her feet and sells them to the most disbelieving of jurymen. "Use these to get to hell." "You shouldn't trust me, but I know you will. I'll strip off my skin so you know what's real. I'm better off burning to keep us safe." "I am fire. I am fire. I am the headlights, I am the flame, I am not safe. I am the serpent, I am the snake, I cannot be chained. I am the handle, I am the blade, I am not safe. I am the siren calling your name, better unclaimed."
2.
You are full of cryptic, pre-apocalyptic lies that look like teeth: small, sharp, and white. Calling it "mystic, iron-fisted divine," I despair for you. Commit to sink with sin or swim to win. Oh, commit to sink with sin or swim to win. I am a cryptic, post-apocalyptic spy. I have free domain. And when you're vague, your ellipsis eclipses my secret search for your shame. Commit to sink with sin or swim to win. Oh, commit to sink with sin or swim to win. Hark, the guard. The guard. Discard your past. You must be born from dust. You must be born from dust. Hark. It's now or never, but it's never now and never is forever asking, "How?" Now, however, is much better - if it ever comes around. Your heart against a feather weighed a pound. Your heart against a feather weighed a pound. They'll send you underground. (Hark the guard, the guard, discard your past.) (It's Now or Never, but it's never Now and Never is forever asking, "How?" Now, however, is much better - if it ever comes around. Your heart against a feather weighed a pound. Your heart against a feather weighed a pound.) They'll send you underground. (Hark, the guard.) (Commit to sink with sin or swim to win. Oh, commit to sink with sin or swim to win.) (The guard. Discard your past.) (Commit to sink with sin or swim to win. Oh, commit to sink with sin or swim to win.) Oh, you must be born from dust. Hark.
3.
Everything is humming as it should be, and if it weren't for the Thought Police I would hum in harmony. If it would not mean immediate mutiny, if I could safely sing in peace The testimony of my own experience: The truth, as felt by me. Everyone is stringing along Carrot and stick might be a good trick for parties and presidents Electing to just get along, get along, get along, get along, Get a long pole/poll to poke the opposition. Everywhere that I might want to go, is someone else's long ago And I'm forever rediscovering someone else's place of been-and-seen. So why do I always search for another hand to validate mine? Carrot and stick might be a good trick for parties and presidents Sniffing around, following orders, kissing tail. When there are rules, obedience wins the prize. Speak up if it's unreasonable. You change. I'll adapt. Stop me if I'm unreasonable. Make me get out. Give me an order to disobey. Duplicate. Magnify. Procreate. Raise a little slave. Show me the way out, with an order to disobey. Now everything is humming as it should be, as if it weren't for the Thought Police. Hum a tune in unison. And I am not risking imminent mutiny 'Cause I can safely sing in peace. The testimony of my own experience: The truth, as felt by me.
4.
Axident 03:40
It was an accident. I definitely never meant to pack all the rage when I left you. It was combat-ready, compact, and heavy when I finally found it. It leapt out of my bag and onto my skin. I sucked it in. Shock! It was an accident. I never meant to embody it. It was an accident. I definitely never meant to wear all the rage when I left you. It fit so tight just like how you would wrap right around me. I can't breathe, cannot take a breath to assert my distress. (huhhhh) It was an accident. It was an accident. It was an axident. It was an accident. I definitely never meant to make the front page when I left you. Those magazines sure love fights. The bigger bites, the better. But I never, but I never did those things they said I did. It was an accident, but not my axe. You never knew me. You never knew me. You never knew the real me. You didn't know what you didn't notice. All you saw was red. When I packed my bags it was freezing and the bleeding stopped. When I packed my bags I was kneeling 'cause the ceiling dropped. It was an accident. I definitely never meant to pack all the rage, all the rage, all the rage, all the rage, all the rage, all the rage, all the...
5.
Broken Shell 03:32
Take this little egg. Break it. Make me tired. Spread the broken shell around the bridge between us. I can never rest. Not while there's unspoken broken shell between us. Am I missing the point? Will you tell me, using words? Not your fist. I'm scared of coming into contact. I don't think you're thinking. I must stay alert of your flailing arms. I'm failing to remain inert. I take your expression as an invitation to abuse your position. By rights you should shoot me. I've left all my dignity under the table. This suspense must surely be worse than the shot. I'll be damned if I bleed, and condemned if I drop to the ground while you're hunting. All wound up to wound me. Don't I deserve it? Surely I've earned it? But am I worth it? Am I worth it? Am I worth it? I must stay alert of your flailing arms. I'm failing to remain inert. I can never rest. Not while there's unspoken broken shell between us.
6.
Death Count 01:04
You praise war. She prays, she prays. She preys on hope to count on. She couldn't count on You praise war. While she prays for the tide to break While tied to Stakes are too high. The stakes are too high, and You. Praise. War. While she prays for Death To debt, to get Respect for all And all identities. So let it be.
7.
The Question 04:12
I had a question that I was rather scared to ask. I had a question; I searched for answers near and far. I had a question; its answer was not obvious. I had a question, a question that made me obsess. I tried to think it through, but it made me crazier. The question in my head grew in exponential size. I couldn't hold it all in my so-called "crazy" mind. It burst out through my gates. Spread infection all around. The neighbours came around, keeping up appearances. They blinked their eyes and said all those things that people say. "Take these pills, this advice, water, bed rest, you'll be fine!" Another question inevitably came to mind. These questions hounded me every day and all night. The only thing to do seemed to be to ask aloud. But when I did, the response was either, ?!?!?!?! Or change the subject to something that's more down to earth. Nobody seemed to care that the answer could not be found. Only subjects of "normal" conversation were allowed. And then they would analyse me, tell me that I was mad Just because I wanted to understand. ... I have a question that I am still afraid to ask. No fear of consequence, I have nothing left to burn. My fear is for the s...
8.
Don't lead me on. You know that I'm awake, listening for any sign of messaging. Won't you make a move? Pull me up, cut me loose. Either way, you've got to choose. They say, "Love, let fly." They say, "The truth will never die, so never lie." "Love, let fly." I say let's prove it. Liberate mine. Tell me I'm a fool for trusting you to return. This is utterly absurd. Well, I must be full of fitful fickleness and fury. Desperate to test this theory. They say, "Love, let fly." They say, "The truth will never die, so never lie." "Love, let fly." I say let's prove it. I'll liberate mine. So go, my love. Go, my love. So take anything you like. Take anything you think you'll need. Take any length of time. Take care. Take good advantage of opportunities. Take heed of old mistakes. Make better memories. Just don't take for the sake of it. Don't take just for the sake of it. Be chivalrous. Assertiveness is quite becoming. Selflessness is liberating. Free this wretchedness. Here, I'm hanging at your mercy. Will you judge that I am worthy? They say, "Love, let fly." They say, "The truth will never die, so never lie." "Love, let fly." I say, prove it. Let's liberate mine. So go, my love. Go, my love. So take anything you like. Take anything you think you'll need. Take any length of time. Take care. Take good advantage of opportunities. Take heed of old mistakes. Make better memories. Just don't take for the sake of it. Don't take just for the sake of it. Secretly, I don't believe in ones-and-only's, paired or lonely. I'm dangling. So take away my options. Take my voice. Make a choice. Take a chance. Take my hand or just take off. Now go, my love. Go. Take all the time you need. Take an interest in anything. Take notice of your intuition. Take flight. Take a photograph if you're loving it. Take a break if the toll it takes is too great. So take anything you like. Take anything you think you'll need. Take any length of time. Take care. Take good advantage of opportunities. Take heed of old mistakes. Make better memories. Just don't take for the sake of it. Don't take just for the sake of it.
9.
The Captain 04:04
It's all very well to play Batman and Robbers When the truth is a joke, Somehow stranger in familiar rooms. See him sit on his stool and point at the dummy, Playing Hide and Speak. Captain tell me I'm in charge. Tell me, "Navigate." Captain tell me, "Stay on course." Tell me we're ok. It's all very well to play Pirates and Preachers When the truth is a joke, And the joke is on you. See him take to the stand, pointing out dummies, Playing Whose Which is Right. Captain tell me I'm in charge. Tell me, "Navigate." Captain tell me, "Stay on course." Tell me we're ok. Captain tell me, "Watch out for the birds! Them birds sing so sweet. They look awful pretty. They got venom in they beak. They bastardise our anthem while singin' in our ears. So watch out for them birds, my son, they worse than they appear." Captain tell me I'm in charge. Tell me, "Navigate." Captain never leave my side. Captain never change. Captain tell me, "Watch out for the birds! Them birds sing so sweet. They look awful pretty. They got venom in they beak. They bastardise our anthem and sing it in our ears. So watch out for them birds, they deadlier than they appear." Captain tell me, "Captain be as captain do," And I be captivated by his words, While singing with the birds. Captain be foolish for being so wise. I kill my captain with ice in my eyes. The birds be a-laughing, whistling for more. I capture my audience for the encore. The truth is the joke. The truth is the joke.
10.
Who wants to see something disturbing? Well, step right up. Better be prepared for what you'll get. Not for the faint of heart, it is an acquired art To find the beastly beauty within. You must pay the price. Three teardrops will suffice, unless you'd rather pay in flesh? And one by one, I'll come for each and every one of you. Oh, who wants to be the first? Are you ready, dear, to face the biggest fear You never even knew you had? And while you are inside, be sure to count the eyes. Oh, what you find will give you nightmares!
11.
Accidents happen in the strangest of places, In the strangest of ways, With the strangest of strangers. What's one more accident gonna cost ya? It's not loss of life, so it must make you stronger. We are now yesterday's "Kids these days, they be crazy. Making lemonade from wires and screens! No longer worshipping queens and kings and holy things. What will become of their souls?!" You must never heed the advice of a known serial killer of hope. It is not wise to relax in a trap. You know that. We had a pact. Time is a trick to trip your head after heels. It cuts to sever and serve. Time's favourite trick is tripping heads before heels In its devilish deals with your future. Accidents happen in the strangest of places, In the strangest of ways, With the strangest of strangers. What's one more accident gonna cost ya? It's not loss of life, so it must make you stronger.

credits

released April 6, 2018

Mixed by Vince Welch
Mastered by Randy Roos at Squam Sound

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April Fish Wellington, New Zealand

Stories are variations of truths. Stories are made up.
Stories are honest lies.

Stories become songs, and songs are poems cloaked in sound.
This is art.
Art is in the eye of the beholder.

∴ April Fish are artistic liars. The cheeky blighters.
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